No-one takes the decision to divorce lightly, but new research suggests that parental arguments prior to divorce could cause more damage to a child than the split itself.
iNews reports:
A data analysis of 19,000 UK children born in 2000 by the University of York has found that behavioural problems, such as emotional development and hyperactivity, among children of divorced parents are explained by "conflicts" between parents in the lead up to the divorce.
Gloria Moroni, the author of the report, said: "The main results of my research is that the fact that children of divorced parents have on average lower cognitive and non-cognitive skills compared with children of intact families is not necessarily due to divorce itself.
I'm no expert, but that rather suggests that limiting a child's exposure to rows between mum and dad might be a good thing. We know that, of course, but there's something rather sobering about seeing it in black and white.
Presumably, this also infers that divorce may be 'better' for kids whose parents row endlessly – or at least that if the only solution to constant arguing is divorce, then it might well be in the best interests of the child.
I know my kids hate it when their parents row. We hardly have humdingers, and wouldn't really let rip at each other in front of the kids but I am aware that when relations are strained and we're bickering or sniping at each other, the kids absorb the tension. It's not good.
And yet it can be so difficult to find time to tackle disagreements with kids around – especially as they get older and bedtime gets later. Sometimes I miss the days when we could 'argue' in the car simply be spelling out the words we didn't want the kids to hear. I'll never forget the first time that back-fired and one little voice piped up from the back seat, sounding out the words we were spelling perfectly.
So what's your view on this story, and how do you deal with parental arguments without affecting the kids? If you've got this nailed, we want to hear your tactics.
Leave us a comment here or come and join the conversation (no arguing in front of the kids though...) over on our Facebook page.
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